Cowboys Don't Ride Unicorns Read online

  Nora smiled sweetly. “We love trying new things.” She stood on tiptoe and peered over the horse at Elena. “Don’t we, darlin’?”

  “Um-hum.” Elena’s lack of verbosity was more than made up for by Nora, who talked enough for two.

  Danny laughed as he worked on sorting and polishing the bridles he’d use on the mounts of the two additional guests. “It sounds like you two haven’t left a lot of new things to try. What a great life.” He meant it.

  “Why, thank you, dear. We think so.”

  Danny led one of the horses out into the sunshine and glanced over at Lani. Great to see her laughing. She’d blossomed from a super-serious twelve-year-old when they met to a lovely, graceful teen, and she seemed more than taken with Andy Landsdowne, their guest. The two had barely stopped talking since Andy got up that morning, and neither of them could get enough of the horses.

  The sound of tires and a flurry of dust made Danny look up. Must be the last two guests. She-it, that’s some car. The baby blue Porsche Spyder convertible came to an abrupt stop in front of the ranch house, and Danny looped the reins through the fence and trotted over to meet it. Even though there was no top to the car, the built-up structure hid the passengers until the driver’s door opened and a medium-height, stocky, silver-haired man stepped out. That must be Chilcott. He was the kind of guy the newspapers would have called handsome and imposing. So not my type. Danny shifted the straw from his mouth to his pocket.

  The man walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door. A graceful, manicured hand emerged, and he took it. Out came a long leg in skin-tight black pants tucked into knee-high boots. What followed forced Danny’s jaw to drop an inch. Tall, though shorter than Danny or Rand, and slim as a greyhound, but there the resemblance to a dog ended. Holy fucking crap. The guy—and it was a guy based on the way those pants cupped his package—wore a scarf around his head, wrapped like Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn in the old movies. He reached up and whipped it off. His shoulder-length hair beneath shone like—what was that color Apple called its phones? Rose gold. Almost silver. Almost pink. Huge dark glasses covered his eyes, but he turned his head and stopped, facing Danny. One rose-gold eyebrow rose above the upper rim of the glasses.

  The other guy—oh right, he was still there—turned and saw Danny too. He waved a hand. “Hi. You look like the right type for this vacation.” He laughed at his own joke as he walked forward with his hand extended. He grasped Danny’s still catatonic hand and shook it. “I’m Grove Chilcott. This is my companion, Laurie Belmont.”

  Danny cocked his head. “Laurie?”

  The young man smiled. “Short for Lawrence. Haven’t you ever read Little Women?”

  Danny didn’t answer. Couldn’t. That voice. Like someone mixed Marilyn Monroe and Scarlett Johansson with some champagne and stirred. The words slithered down his spine and attacked his balls like an aphrodisiac. His cock started pressing against his zipper. Shit, I’m in so much trouble. He pulled at the brim of his hat. “Sorry, can’t say as I have.”

  Chilcott laughed. “Come on, Laurie, don’t test the cowboy on his literature choices before you’ve unpacked.”

  Danny stuck the straw back between his lips. “Uh, I’m Danny Boone. Let me show you to your room. I’ll help with your bags.”

  Chilcott slapped a hand against his own chest. “You’ve gotta be kidding with that name. Our dude ranch guy is named Daniel Boone?”

  “Danny.”

  “Still, I expect the Punk’d cameras to leap out at me.” He laughed, but at least it was good-natured. Not a total asshole. “And if you’re talking about carrying Laurie’s bags, you’re gonna need you and an army.”

  Laurie raised an eyebrow again. “Mr. Boone, will you please show us to our room?”

  “Sure.” Come on. Wake up and do your job. He pointed toward a low structure on the other side of the parking area, overlooking a small pond. “Those are the guest quarters. There’s parking on the other side, if you’d like to move your car there.”

  Chilcott nodded. “Okay.” He walked back toward the car. The very, very expensive car.

  “I’ll walk with you, if you don’t mind. I’ve had enough of sitting.” Laurie’s head was turned to Danny, but Danny couldn’t see much through the dark lenses.

  “Sure. Come on.”

  They walked a few steps in uncomfortable silence. Laurie’s hip pocket buzzed, and he pulled out an appropriately rose-gold-colored phone. “Hi, Mama.” He paused. “Yes, we just got here. How’s Daddy?” A little crease popped out between his brows. “Yes, dear. Don’t worry. I’ll ask Grove to look into it.” A long, soft breath escaped between his lips. “Yes, dear, but remember Grove picked the vacation, so I’m sure he’ll enjoy it.” He smiled. “Love you too.” With another frown, he slipped the phone back in his pocket, then sped up and walked beside Danny. “This is my first time at a dude ranch.”

  Danny glanced at him, then straight ahead. “We call it a guest ranch, actually, although the primary function is to raise horses.”

  “Oh, really. How interesting. So we dudes pay for the real cowboy operation?”

  “You help. Horses are costly, but Rand—that’s the owner, Rand McIntyre—is a good judge of horseflesh and has managed to build up a nice business in sales and stud.” Shut up. You’re running off at the mouth.

  “Yes, I noticed the ranch’s studly qualities right away.”

  Danny glanced at Laurie but couldn’t see a damned thing behind the glasses—and those slightly tinted lips weren’t smiling.

  He about fainted with relief when they got to the guesthouse and met Chilcott standing by the Porsche. Danny stepped away from the heat of Laurie. “Your room is right this way.” Chilcott had reserved the one suite they had on the ranch, which meant they had a bedroom, small sitting room, attached bath, and a nice porch that looked out over the pond. Danny pushed open the door.

  Laurie swept in like the queen of fucking everything and looked around. Jesus, what would a hothouse orchid like that think of their down-home quarters?

  “It’s lovely. We’ll be very comfortable here.”

  Danny let out a slow breath.

  Chilcott glanced at the folksy room with raised eyebrows, then gave Laurie a look. “You’re nothing if not unpredictable, my love.” He dropped what must be his gym bag on the chair closest to the door. The damned thing probably cost more than Danny’s winnings from risking his life on a bull.

  “I’ll get your bags.” Danny escaped out to the car. As promised, they had a million suitcases, all matching, in some kind of smooth leather that never should have been subjected to a skycap. One of them was what would probably be called a makeup bag—the kind Danny saw in old movies of elegant women taking trains to exotic places. Seriously?

  “It is rather over the top, isn’t it?” The sultry, breathy voice shivered down Danny’s spine.

  “Yeah. A bit. Never saw one in person.”

  Laurie reached out for the bag. “It’s actually pretty old. I found it in a shop that sells antiques and secondhand. Ever been in a shop like that?”

  Danny shrugged.

  “I’m rather obsessed with them.”

  “Might be some in Chico.” He cleared his throat. “Uh, I could find out.”

  Laurie gave a little hop. “That would be so lovely. Thank you.”

  Danny hefted four of the bags, and Laurie walked beside him carrying the makeup case.

  Inside the suite, Chilcott flashed a little frown as they entered but then smiled. “So what’s on our cowboy agenda?”

  “There’s lunch in the ranch house. That’s usually pretty great, and you can meet the other guests. Then Manolo and I will be taking you all on a trail ride.”

  Laurie chortled, “Oh, fun!”

  “Do you ride?”

  “A little.”

  “And you, Mr. Chilcott?”

  “Call me Grove. Short for Grover, but it’s easy to understand why I wouldn’t want you to call me that, righ
t?” He laughed his big, hail-fellow chuckle. “And yeah, I ride a bit, but I’m pretty rusty, so I’ll leave it to you real cowboys to polish me up.”

  Danny pulled on the brim of his hat. “Unpack and settle in, then come on back to the ranch house—where you pulled up originally—and we’ll have lunch.”

  Escape! He rushed out the door, sucked in the warm air, and stalked back to the barn. All the other folks had scattered, and the place felt moist and quiet. Slipping into Star Sight’s stall, he leaned his head against the big palomino’s side. “I don’t need this distraction. Shit, or this frustration. I need to get a handle on my cock. This is a guest—a guest with a boyfriend. On top of that, Laurie is clearly someone used to the finer things, and I’ve got four pairs of jeans, a beat-up camper, and a small savings account for an imaginary future. A dude like that’s always gonna choose a guy like Chilcott. He’s not gonna unchoose him for me.”

  Star Sight nickered and looked back at Danny.

  “Thanks for listening.” Danny took a deep, horsey breath, stood straight, plastered on his best professional smile, and went out to do his job.

  WHEN DANNY got into the dining room of the ranch house, Nora, Elena, Mr. Landsdowne, and his son were already there. Surprisingly, Lani sat tucked into the table next to Andy Landsdowne. She was usually too reserved to join the guests for meals and ate with Rand and Kai, but Andy seemed to have charms to overcome her shyness. Aliki knew no such hesitation. He’d grabbed a seat across from Nora and Elena. The kid always seemed to gravitate toward grandmother figures, including Rand’s mom, whom Aliki adored.

  Nora looked up at Danny. “Hi, darlin’. Come sit by me.”

  “Most obliged.” He tossed his hat on a nearby coat tree and scooted into the chair at the head of the table between Nora on his right and Aliki on his left. Everyone was already chowing down on Felicia’s amazing multigrain bread and butter. Manolo walked in and took a seat at the other end of the table, which left two chairs noticeably unoccupied.

  Nora nodded at the seats. “Will Rand be joining us?”

  Danny shook his head. “No, ma’am. Rand’s busy with some students right now, but our other guests should be joining us shortly.”

  “Oh yes. They’re the people in the suite.”

  “Correct.”

  Felicia started serving beef stew into large bowls with a nice big spoon for dishing out the meat, vegetables, and her delicious sauce.

  Nora patted her tummy. “Smells yummy, Felicia.”

  She smiled. “Thank you. Hope you enjoy it. I made a vegetarian version in case anyone prefers it—although I don’t think anyone requested a meat-free diet.”

  Come on, Danny, be social. “So, Mr. Landsdowne, what do you do for a living?”

  Landsdowne, a pleasant-looking man in his early forties who might have been handsome before he gained weight and lost hair, tried to smile around his mouthful of stew.

  Danny grinned. “Sorry. Should have been a dentist. Always asking questions at the wrong time.”

  Landsdowne swallowed. “Call me Arthur, and I’m a pharmacist.”

  Nora leaned forward and looked down at Arthur. “I’ve heard that’s a very in-demand profession.”

  “Yes. Kids getting out of pharmacy school are writing their own tickets.”

  “Oh my. Andy, do you plan to follow in your father’s footsteps?”

  Andy glanced toward his father, then shook his head. “No, I want to raise horses, like Mr. McIntyre.”

  “Well, isn’t that lovely. And what kind of schooling will you need for that?”

  “Uh, a degree in animal husbandry.”

  Nora chuckled. “Doesn’t that sound delightfully scandalous? I’ll bet that’s your aim too, Lani. Is that right?”

  A little crease popped out between Lani’s dark brows. “I believe I’d want to get a degree in business, if that’s possible. Or instead I could get my undergraduate degree in agriculture and animal husbandry, and then go on to an MBA.”

  “My goodness, you have such a clear vision for one so young. What’s required to study animal husbandry?”

  The open doorway suddenly filled with Laurie’s tall, slim body, now clothed in tight black jeans tucked into English riding boots and a shirt that could only be described as 1950s Hollywood western—fringe, excessive pearl snaps, and leather trim. How in hell did he manage to make it look good? Oh right. Because on him, anything would look good. Laurie surveyed the group with wide, slightly uptilted eyes in a shade of blue that could have made ads for the Caribbean jealous. He grinned. “Husbandry? Is someone talking dirty in here?” He laughed his melodious chuckle that seemed to start somewhere in his belly—and made Danny’s belly flip.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  THE ASSEMBLED group froze in a tableau of amazement. Open mouths. Wide eyes. Yep, pretty astonishing.

  Aliki’s voice seemed to slip out by accident. “Wow, you’re beautiful.”

  Who knew the kid had such good taste?

  Laurie smiled and cocked his head at Aliki. “Aren’t you nice. May I sit by you?”

  “Sure.” He beamed.

  Laurie looked around the table. “Hi, everyone. I’m Laurie Belmont. My companion, Grove, will be here in a few minutes. Something sure does smell good.”

  Aliki nodded. “It’s Felicia’s stew, and it’s rad!”

  “I believe you. What’s your name?” He pulled out the empty chair beside Aliki and sat.

  “I’m Aliki, Rand’s son.” He shrugged. “Well, adopted son. And that there is my sister, Lani.”

  “I’m pleased to meet you, Lani.” He looked back at Aliki. “And I’m sure Rand thinks of you as his very own, so no need to explain further.”

  Well shit, how charming could he be?

  Nora reached across the table. “I’m Nora Benson. Call me Nora. And this is my partner, Elena Chavez.”

  “Delighted to meet you both.”

  Nora took on introduction duties and soon had Laurie integrated into the group—although he’d stand out like an exotic jewel anywhere.

  Nora said, “So what do you do, Laurie?”

  He laughed. “I’m a decorator.”

  Nora popped her dimples. “I’ll say.”

  Grove walked in the door. “Don’t let that one snow you. You ever heard of Armisted Designs?”

  “Of course. Who hasn’t?”

  “Laurie’s the real brains and taste behind that operation.”

  Laurie took his arm and gave him a half hug. “Thank you, dear. Sadly, no one except Grove seems to acknowledge that fact. Oh sigh, the frustrations of artistry.” He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead in a grand gesture, then laughed.

  Nora waggled a finger. “If you have anything to do with those beautiful compositions at Armisted, it’s just a matter of time until everyone knows your name. You’re young. Give the world a chance to catch up.”

  Laurie reached across the table, grabbed her hand, and kissed it. “From your lips to God’s ears, darling. You’re so sweet.”

  Grove stuck out his hand. “I’m Grove Chilcott, by the way. Sorry I’m late. Had to phone Hong Kong.”

  What in the hell were two flashy, rich social climbers doing at the little McIntyre guest ranch? Jesus, were they out of place.

  Chilcott dragged out the chair next to Laurie, then shook hands around the table, which involved a lot of leaning and reaching.

  Felicia brought their stew, and Laurie took a little bite, the big spoon looking almost comical in his graceful hand. He closed his eyes, and Danny’s cock wiggled like a snake being charmed. Laurie breathed. “Oh my God. I’ll just sit here and eat this for four days.”

  Felicia, who still stood in the kitchen door, blushed and smiled. “Gracias.”

  Crap. I’m going to embarrass myself. Danny pushed back his chair, making a scraping sound on the stone floor. “If you’ll all excuse me, I need to prepare for our ride. No hurry. Enjoy your delicious lunch and maybe take a little walk with Manolo around the grounds after�
�just to digest. Then we’ll mount up.” He slapped his Resistol back on his head, touched the brim, and walked toward the door, trying to ignore Manolo’s startled expression. Manolo usually prepared the horses and Danny did the walk. Fuck it. Change is good for the soul, right?

  Outside in the bright afternoon sun, he slammed right into Rand coming up the steps of the ranch house. Whoa. “Sorry.”

  Rand grabbed Danny’s arms to keep him from toppling. “Easy, cowboy.” He stared at his face. “Who put the burr up your butt?”

  “No burr. Just going to get the mounts ready.” He stepped aside and stomped across the open dirt toward the stable. That was really dumb and not cool. He took a breath. Sometimes horses are the only ones who understand.

  Ten minutes later he had six of their gentlest, most compliant horses saddled and bridled. Always best to start slow. If someone showed promise, they could upgrade to a different animal. He leaned against the inside of the stall and closed his eyes.

  “Danny? You in here?”

  Danny stood and waved over the top of the wall. “Back here, boss.”

  Rand came around the door to the stall. Moxie, the sweet-natured black mare, turned her head to investigate possible treats. Rand stroked her nose. “You got a problem with any of our new guests?”

  “Nope.” He chewed a fresh piece of straw.

  “You let Manolo do the walk.”

  “Yep.”

  Rand grinned. “Come on, Danny. I’m the one who’s short on words, right?”

  Danny grinned back. “Not today.”

  “Pretty diverse group.”

  “Yep. Lani seems to have found a friend.”

  “Um-hum.”

  “Don’t worry. We’ll keep an eye on them. I think it’s mostly a shared love of horses.”

  Rand gave him a sidelong look. “As long as there’s no horsing around.”

  Danny laughed so hard he spit out his straw. “Didn’t take much to turn you into the protective father.” He grabbed another straw. “But you always were cut out for the job.”